Toddler bedtime made easy: Crafting a routine that works

Bedtime with a toddler can sometimes feel like an Olympic event. From stalling tactics to bursts of energy at the exact wrong moment, getting your little one to bed can be a test of patience. But while the process might seem overwhelming, a consistent bedtime routine can make all the difference.

Toddlers thrive on predictability, and bedtime is no exception. A well-crafted routine not only helps your child transition to sleep more easily but also fosters emotional security and precious moments of connection. In this blog, I’ll break down how to create the perfect bedtime routine for your toddler—one that works for them and you.

Why a bedtime routine matters

Consistency builds security
Toddlers are creatures of habit. A predictable bedtime routine helps them feel safe because they know what’s coming next. This consistency allows your toddler to approach bedtime with less resistance, as their expectations are clear.

Signals the body to wind down
Bedtime routines work wonders for regulating your toddler’s internal clock, or circadian rhythm. By following the same steps every night, you’re giving their body clear signals that it’s time to slow down and prepare for rest. Over time, these cues create a natural association with sleep, making the transition smoother.

Encourages bonding
Bedtime is also a beautiful opportunity to strengthen your bond. Whether it’s cuddling during storytime or sharing a quiet chat about their day, these moments create a sense of closeness and comfort that helps your toddler feel loved.

Sets the stage for lifelong habits
While bedtime routines are essential during the toddler years, they also lay the foundation for healthy sleep habits as your child grows. Teaching your toddler the importance of winding down and sticking to a consistent schedule helps them develop positive sleep associations that can benefit them well into childhood and beyond.

The key components of a successful toddler bedtime routine

Here’s a step-by-step breakdown of what a toddler bedtime routine can look like:

1. Wind-down time
Before diving into the routine, dedicate 15-30 minutes to calm, screen-free activities. This transition time helps your toddler shift from high-energy play to a more relaxed state. Activities like coloring, building blocks, listening to an audio story, or reading a book together are great options. Avoid screens during this period, as the blue light can interfere with melatonin production and make it harder for your toddler to feel sleepy. Plus some toddlers and preschoolers have a really hard time when it’s time for the screens to go away and we don’t want to start our routine off already dysregulated.

2. Bath or hygiene routine
Bath time is not just about getting clean—it’s also a soothing ritual that signals bedtime is approaching. The warm water can help your toddler’s body relax and prepare for sleep. If your toddler doesn’t enjoy baths every night, brushing their teeth, washing their hands and face, or even a quick massage with lotion can serve the same purpose.

3. Pajamas and diaper/potty time
Getting into pajamas and addressing potty needs is another key step. This ensures your toddler feels comfortable and avoids unnecessary disruptions later in the night. If your toddler is potty training, make sure to incorporate a final rip to the bathroom before bed. Letting them choose their pajamas adds an element of fun and independence to the routine.

4. Storytime or lullabies
This is often a toddler’s favorite part of the bedtime routine. Reading a book together while snuggling not only helps them wind down but also nurtures their imagination and language development. Alternatively, singing a soothing lullaby can work wonders for setting a calm, sleepy tone. Choose books that are calming and predictable—avoid exciting or interactive books that might get your toddler wound up instead of relaxed. And be sure to stick with a set number of stories or songs each night.

5. Cuddles and connection
Spend a few minutes cuddling or talking about your toddler’s day. This time of connection reassures them and provides the emotional security they need to drift off to sleep feeling loved and safe. Ask simple, open-ended questions like, “What was your favorite part of the day?” to give them space to share their thoughts and feelings. If you have something fun coming up the next day, remind them of it as a way to help them let go of the day and feel ready for sleep.

6. The final step
End the routine with a consistent signal that it’s time for sleep. This could be turning off the lights, saying a special phrase like “Goodnight, I love you,” or turning on your white noise. Having a clear end point helps your toddler understand that the routine is over, and it’s time to rest.

Tips for creating a bedtime routine that sticks

Keep it simple and consistent
A successful bedtime routine doesn’t have to be elaborate—it just needs to be consistent. Choose a few key steps that work for your family and repeat them every night. Even when traveling or dealing with unexpected changes, try to stick to the same basic steps to maintain familiarity for your toddler.

I find that some families really like a long and drawn out bedtime routine while other families hate feeling the bedtime routine is never ending. There is no specific amount of time that your routine needs to be. It could be 10 minutes long or an hour! What matters is that you are in control of what steps take place during the routine and that you stay consistent with those steps.

Make it collaborative
Toddlers love to feel involved, so give them choices within the routine. For example, let them pick which book to read or which pajamas to wear. I recommend giving them 2 or 3 pajamas that they can pick from so the choice doesn’t feel so open-ended. Same thing with choosing books- make sure you only offer the books you want to read as their options. These small decisions can reduce resistance and make bedtime feel like a team effort.

Start early
Begin the routine at the same time each evening to help regulate your toddler’s body clock. If your goal bedtime is 7:30pm, aim to start the wind-down process early enough that you are finishing your routine by 7:30pm. Also, keep in mind that an earlier bedtime helps prevent overtiredness and gives you some much-needed downtime at the end of the day. Sometimes parents feel that making bedtime later will help with bedtime protesting but that isn’t always the case. Oftentime a later bedtime means the same amount of protesting and even less sleep for your toddler. 

Use visual cues
A visual bedtime chart with pictures of each step can be a helpful tool, especially for younger toddlers. Seeing what comes next helps them understand the routine and feel more engaged. You can even make it fun by letting them check off each step as they complete it.

Be patient
Building a successful bedtime routine takes time, and there will be nights when your toddler resists. Stay calm, confident and consistent, and remember that repetition is what makes the routine stick.

Common bedtime challenges and how to handle them

Stalling tactics
Toddlers are masters at stretching out bedtime with requests like “one more book” or “just five more minutes.” To minimize delays, give them a heads-up before the routine starts (“Five more minutes of playtime, then we start getting ready for bed”) and set clear boundaries. Use a timer if needed to help them transition from playtime to bedtime without arguments.

Separation anxiety
If your toddler struggles with being away from you at night, try using a comfort object like a stuffed animal or reassuring them with a special goodnight phrase. Consistency and reassurance are key to helping them feel secure. Remember, it’s important for them to gain experiences of being separated from you and seeing you always come back. This helps ease their separation anxiety over time.

Resistance to the routine
It’s normal for toddlers to test boundaries. If your child resists the routine, stay consistent and keep the atmosphere calm. Don’t give in to extra requests throughout the routine. It is not your job to convince your toddler it’s time for bed. It’s simply up to you to hold the boundaries you’ve created and your toddler is allowed to feel however they feel about those boundaries. Over time, they’ll come to understand that bedtime isn’t negotiable. If resistance becomes a nightly pattern, assess whether your toddler’s bedtime is too late, too early or if they need more wind-down time.

Overtiredness
An overtired toddler can have a harder time settling to sleep. If you notice bedtime meltdowns or difficulty falling asleep, consider moving bedtime earlier by 15-30 minutes to prevent overtiredness. Recognizing your toddler’s sleep cues, like rubbing their eyes or getting clingy, can help you avoid reaching this stage. If your toddler is overtired, it’s not unusual for toddlers to get sleepy prior to bedtime but then get a “second wind” later in the night. If you notice this happening, it’s a big red flag that you need to pull bedtime earlier.

How to adjust the routine as your toddler grows

As your toddler gets older, their bedtime routine may need some tweaks to fit their changing needs. For example:

• A potty-training toddler might need an extra step for a trip to the bathroom before bed.

• A preschooler might enjoy a longer storytime or more detailed chats about their day.

• If your toddler starts resisting naps, you may need to adjust bedtime to accommodate their evolving sleep needs.

Remember, the core of the routine—connection, consistency, and calm—stays the same, even as the details change.

Final thoughts

Creating the perfect bedtime routine for your toddler is all about balance: balancing structure with flexibility, and boundaries with warmth. While it may take time and effort to establish, the payoff is a smoother, calmer bedtime for both you and your child.

Start small, stay consistent, and don’t forget to celebrate the wins along the way. And if bedtime still feels like a struggle, remember that support is always available—I’m here to help guide you through the process and create a bedtime routine that truly works for your family.