When sleep training isn’t working: Signs it might be time to try a new approach

You’ve committed to sleep training and followed the plan to the letter, but instead of peaceful nights, you’re still dealing with frequent wake-ups, bedtime battles, or seemingly endless frustration. It can feel defeating, especially when you’re running on little sleep yourself.

First, let me reassure you: if sleep training isn’t working, it’s not because you’ve failed as a parent or because your child is beyond help. Every baby is different, and what works for one may not work for another. Sleep training isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, and sometimes, the key to success is recognizing when it’s time to reassess and try a new approach.

In this blog, we’ll explore the signs that your current method might not be working, common reasons for setbacks, and how to pivot to a plan that better suits your child’s unique needs.

Why sleep training can feel like it’s not working

Before diving into the signs that a change is needed, it’s important to understand why sleep training might feel like it’s failing—even when you’re doing everything “right.”

Temporary setbacks: Life happens, and so do growth spurts, teething, illness, and developmental leaps. These milestones can temporarily disrupt even the best-laid sleep training plans. The good news? These setbacks are often short-lived.

Unrealistic expectations: Many parents expect sleep training to produce instant results, but the truth is, it often takes consistent effort over days—or even weeks—to see progress. If you’re expecting perfection after one or two nights, it’s easy to feel like the method isn’t working when it just needs more time.

Mismatched methods: Not all sleep training approaches are a good fit for every baby or family dynamic. A method that’s too rigid might feel overwhelming for a sensitive baby, while a gentle approach might feel too slow-paced for a baby who’s ready for more structure.

Extinction burst: It is completely normal for your baby to go through an extinction burst during the sleep training process. While the timing of this burst is variable, I do find that for most babies it happens by the 1 week mark. This usually looks like a period of time where you are seeing gradual sleep improvements, followed by a terrible 24-48 hours where you feel like all your progress is gone. All your progress is not gone, but if you don’t know to look out for this burst, you might throw in the towel and give up too soon.

Understanding these factors can help you determine whether your current struggles are a normal part of the process—or a sign that it’s time for a new approach.

Signs it might be time to reassess your approach

1. No improvement after 1-2 weeks
Consistency is key in sleep training, but if you’ve been applying a method for 1-2 weeks with zero improvement, it could mean that the approach isn’t addressing the root of the issue. Some babies respond quickly to changes, while others need a bit more time—but a complete lack of progress is a good indicator that it’s time to reassess. Of course, it could be that your progress is just on the slower side (and the method you choose may mean slower progress- which is fine!) but you should be seeing signs of light at the end of the tunnel by the 2 week mark.

2. Increased stress for baby or parents
Sleep training can be tough, and it’s normal to feel some resistance from your baby at first. However, if both you and your baby are feeling overly stressed, it may be a sign that the method is too harsh or not aligned with your family’s comfort level. Stress during sleep training is normal (and is what we consider positive stress), but if there’s no end in sight and both you and baby are really starting to feel it, it never hurts to take a break and reassess.

3. Frequent wake-ups persist or worsen
If your baby’s night wakings aren’t decreasing—or are happening more frequently—it might indicate that an underlying issue (like hunger, discomfort, or something else) hasn’t been resolved. Sleep training works best when all the basics, like their schedule and sleep environment, are in place.

4. Resistance to settling
Babies may resist change, but if your baby’s resistance to naps or bedtime seems to be getting stronger, it’s worth considering whether the method is working for their temperament. Some babies need a more gradual approach where the parent is very hands on and slowly decreasing this help. While others thrive with clear, consistent boundaries and a method that is too hands on will actually be more frustrating and overstimulating than is helpful.

5. Parenting instincts feel off
You know your baby better than anyone. If something about the sleep training process feels wrong or goes against your parenting instincts, it’s okay to listen to that voice and explore other options. It doesn’t have to mean you are done with sleep training forever, but sometimes just taking a break can help you look back more clearly on the situation. Of course, if you just decide sleep training is not the right choice for your family, that is okay too! Every family is different and has different goals, values, needs, and priorities.

Reasons your current method might not be working

If you’ve recognized some of the signs above, you’re probably wondering why your current approach isn’t working. Here are a few common culprits:

Developmental milestones: Milestones like rolling over, learning to sit up, or teething can temporarily disrupt your baby’s ability to settle and stay asleep. During these times, your baby might need extra comfort or adjustments to their routine. While this can be a reason that sleep training doesn’t feel like it is working, I would say this is the lowest on the list of reasons (although it’s often one that parents worry about).

Underlying medical issues: If your baby has reflux, allergies, or another medical condition, these issues can interfere with sleep and make traditional training methods ineffective. Always consult your pediatrician if you suspect a medical concern.

Incorrect daytime schedule: Napping schedules can directly affect a baby’s ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. Babies who are overtired often struggle to fall and stay asleep because of the lack of sleep and increased cortisol. On the flip side, a baby who’s not tired enough may resist settling because they simply aren’t tired enough and haven’t built up enough sleep pressure to stay asleep. Reviewing their wake windows and overall schedule can help ensure they’re sleeping at the right times. See my free wake window chart here.

Inconsistent application: Sleep training requires consistency to work. If you’re mixing methods or responding differently each night, it can confuse your baby and make it harder for them to learn new sleep habits. I find that some parents are accidentally conditioning their babies to cry longer and harder by being inconsistent. When sleep training, you want to make sure that you aren’t establishing a pattern of trying your sleep method for X number of minutes and then giving up for the night and helping your little one to fall asleep. If that happens here or there, it’s usually not a big deal but if that is happening time after time, you will inadvertently condition your baby to hold out for the assistance to sleep.

How to try a new approach

If you’ve decided it’s time for a change, here’s how to pivot to a new plan that better suits your baby’s needs:

1. Reassess your goals
Take a step back and reflect on what you’re hoping to achieve with sleep training. Are you looking for fewer night wakings? Easier bedtimes? More structured naps? Clarifying your goals can help you choose an approach that aligns with your priorities. Also make sure that your goals are realistic for your baby and not just based on what your friend’s baby is doing.

2. Match the method to your baby’s temperament
Every baby is unique, and their personality plays a big role in how they respond to sleep training. For example:

• A sensitive or easily overwhelmed baby might do better with a gentle, gradual approach like the chair method.

• A more independent or adaptable baby might thrive with a more structured approach with more space given like frequent check ins. 

• Knowing these generalities, it’s also important to understand that change is hard and no method will feel “easy.” If it was easy, you’d already have done it. So make sure you aren’t simply looking for the quick fix as you move forward.

3. Focus on foundational sleep habits first
Before diving into a new sleep training plan, ensure that the basics are in place:

• A consistent bedtime routine.

• An age-appropriate schedule with the right wake windows.

• A sleep-friendly environment (dark room, white noise, and safe sleep practices).

• Being on the same page as your partner.

4. Get professional support
If you’re feeling stuck, consider consulting a pediatric sleep consultant. A professional, like myself, can help you create a customized plan tailored to your baby’s unique needs, making the process less overwhelming. This can also eliminate a lot of the self-doubt and second guessing because you’ll have someone to support you along the way (and someone who has seen it all)!

5. Commit to consistency
Once you’ve chosen a new approach, commit to it for at least 1-2 weeks before making further changes. Babies need time to adjust to new patterns, and consistency is the key to helping them succeed.

Final thoughts

If sleep training isn’t going as planned, it’s easy to feel frustrated, defeated, or even like giving up. But here’s the truth: struggling with sleep is incredibly common, and making adjustments doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re paying attention to your baby’s needs and doing what’s best for your family.

Every sleep journey has its ups and downs, and it’s okay if finding the right approach takes time. Trial and error is part of the process, and with patience, consistency, and support, you’ll find a solution that works for you and your baby.

If you’re feeling stuck, I’d love to help. Book a free 15-minute call with me, and together we’ll create a customized sleep plan that fits your baby’s unique needs. You don’t have to navigate this alone—let’s work together and finally get your family sleeping better.