Sibling sleep challenges: how to mange shared bedrooms

Sharing a bedroom can be a beautiful bonding experience for siblings, but it often comes with its fair share of challenges—especially when it comes to sleep. If you’ve found yourself tiptoeing around the house, fearing that one child’s stirring will wake the other, you’re not alone! Many parents struggle to find the balance between fostering sibling closeness and ensuring everyone gets the sleep they need. But the good news? With some thoughtful planning and realistic expectations, you can create a sleep environment that works for both of your little ones.

In this blog, we’ll explore practical tips to manage sibling sleep challenges in shared bedrooms. From setting up the room to minimize distractions to making sure bedtime routines run smoothly, these strategies are designed to help your children get the rest they need—so you can all enjoy more peaceful nights. Ready to turn bedtime battles into bedtime bliss? Keep reading to discover how you can create a sleep-friendly space for your shared-room siblings!

Have realistic expectations

Before you move your children into the same room, you want to make sure that you have realistic expectations set. Yes, having siblings share a room can be extra special and increase their bond. But it’s also going to make certain aspects of sleep trickier. And if one child has a bad night, it’s more likely that their roommate will too. This is all just part of life and siblings have been sharing rooms since the beginning of time and everything turned out just fine! However, you want to make sure you don’t go into this naively. Sleep won’t be perfect (ever) and the more children sleeping in one space, the more potential for sleep disruptions. Just be prepared.

Safety considerations

If one of the children who will be sharing a room is a baby, then you’ll need to ensure that they are kept safe while sleeping. This means making sure that their older sibling is not going to be placing items in the crib with them (blankets, pillows, toys, etc). Make sure there is nothing in the room that could become a choking hazard if accidentally placed in the crib. You’ll want to have a chat with your toddler or preschooler about what babies need and don’t need to sleep. If you fear your child is not yet old enough to be trusted, then it’s probably best to consider having the baby in your room instead of with their young sibling.

If you have a toddler or preschooler who is out of the crib and in a bed now, you also want to make sure the room is child-proofed. This means no breakable objects within reach, no choking hazards, tall furniture bolted or strapped to the wall, and no loose cords and blind strings. Since your child will be able to have free reign of the room, you want to ensure their safety at all times. Struggling to make the transition from crib to bed? See my blog here.

Start off with good sleepers first!

I always recommend that you hold off placing your children in the same bedroom until you are in a good place for both of them individually. If you are struggling with sleep for one or both, putting them in the same room is only going to add problems. Do not be fooled into thinking that placing your children together will solve your current sleep issues- it won’t.

A lot of parents think that they must move their baby out of their room before sleep training. But this is actually not necessary. If you are planning to sleep train your baby but you also want to move them into your older child’s bedroom, sleep train first. You can successfully sleep train them while they remain in your room. Once you have tackled that and your baby has adjusted, then you can find a future time to transition them into their sibling’s room.

If possible, I also recommend waiting until night feedings are no longer necessary before you move your baby.  This will help minimize the chances of your baby waking your toddler each and every night.

Resist the urge to rush in at every sound

Even if you have 2 amazing sleepers, there will still be times when one child wakes and is loud. Everyone has off days and it’s natural for little ones to have brief wakings throughout the night and be noisy sleepers. When this inevitably happens, your brain is going to say, “Hurry! Get in there and quiet her before she wakes her brother!” But this is actually the thing you want to resist doing.

Yes, rushing in would be a quick fix for a noisy child in the middle of the night. But, it’s likely to become a habit and then you will find yourself having to rush in there on a regular basis. 

Instead, give them space. If they are both already independent sleepers and not in need of unhelpful sleep associations (more about that here), then give them the time to confidently use their skills. Don’t rush in and overhelp. They are capable on their own!

Make a plan for timing of bedtime

Depending on the ages of your children who will be room sharing, you will have different options for bedtime. You will likely go through stages of having the same bedtime and stages of having different bedtimes depending on how their schedules mess as they age and drop naps. Sometimes it works out that you can do bedtime at the same time for your children. This can turn the bedtime routine into a family event where you all go through the process together and then you can put them both down at the same time.

You may even be able to manipulate your children’s schedule in such a way to ensure they have the same bedtime each and every night. For example, if you have a 3 year old who is still napping, they may regularly wake up by 2:30pm, then that would mean you can place their bedtime around 7:30pm. Meanwhile, your 6 month old may need to be woken up from their 3rd nap by 5pm, in order to also place them down at 7:30pm for bedtime too.

If you just can’t make bedtime be at the same time for both kiddos- no worries! You can easily stagger bedtimes. Take advantage of the differing bedtimes to give a good amount of 1:1 time to each child during their individual bedtime routine. It may take some getting used to at first, especially if your toddler or preschooler happens to be the one going to bed earlier than their sibling. But hold that boundary consistently and they will adjust soon. When you do have to stagger bedtimes, I recommend having the later child do their bedtime routine in a different part of the house instead of trying to do it in their room while their sibling is sleeping. You’ll want to get pajamas, hygiene items, books, etc ready and set out so that you don’t need to go in and out of the bedroom once your first child is already asleep.

The most important piece with bedtime is to be prepared and have a plan. Either way of handling bedtime will work, but you don’t want to go into it without having thought it through.

Use white noise

White noise is essential for good sleep- whether your children are sharing a room or not! So you should be using it either way. But it is especially necessary if your children are sharing a room. In fact, having 2 white noise machines in the room might not be a bad idea. If using 1 white noise machine, place it halfway between your 2 children to help buffer noises made by either of them. If you are using 2 white noise machines, place each one by their sleep space so they have their own personal sound cocoon. This helps to keep any nighttime noises from pulling them out of a light stage of sleep and it will help them connect their sleep cycles more easily throughout the night.

Only one major change at a time

My last piece of advice is to not make more than one major change at a time. For instance, if you have a third child on the way and you want to move your first two children into the same room, don’t do this right before or right after the new baby comes. You should have a couple months for them to adjust to sharing a room before the baby comes or you should wait a couple of months after the baby has been born before moving the other two into the same room. Same idea goes for the crib to bed transition, potty training, starting daycare or school for the first time, and any other big life changes.

Final thoughts

Navigating sibling sleep challenges in a shared bedroom might seem impossible at first, but with a little planning and a lot of patience, it’s totally doable! If you find that the challenges persist or you need more personalized guidance before you’re ready to move your children into the same room, I’m here to help! Every family is unique, and sometimes a tailored approach is just what you need to tackle those bedtime struggles. Don’t hesitate to reach out—I’m just a click away from supporting your family’s sleep journey!