The dream feed: what it is and how to do it
Are you struggling with night wakings? Perhaps someone has suggested that you should try a dream feed with your baby? But what is a dream feed anyways? And is it the right choice for your sleep situation? I’m so glad you’re here because in this blog I’m going to break down what the dream feed is, who it’s for, and how to do it! And as a mom of 3, 3 and under (with one on the way!), these tips have come in handy multiple times so I know you’ll appreciate them as well. Keep reading to learn more.
What is a dream feed?
First things first, we need to talk about what a dream feed actually is. A dream feed is when you offer your sleeping baby a feed before you go to sleep yourself for the night. This feed is typically offered around 10-11pm each night and the idea is that if you fill their belly up before you head to sleep, they will give you a long stretch of sleep.
The point is to align your first stretch of night sleep with their longest stretch of night sleep. Hunger can be a reason why babies wake, especially in those early months, and so if we can meet that need early on, they may be less likely to wake up shortly after your head hits the pillow. And come on, as moms we’d all love a 4+ hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep, wouldn’t we?
What age is the dream feed for?
Typically, the dream feed is most helpful in the first few months when your baby is a newborn. For even more newborn sleep tips, see this blog about implementing a simple bedtime routine. Some families opt to keep the dream feed longer than those first 3-4 months and as long as it’s working and your baby is still giving you a stretch of long sleep after that dream feed, that is absolutely fine to keep it in place.
However, if your baby is past the newborn stage and you are just now thinking of introducing a dream feed, I wouldn’t recommend it. At this point, your baby’s deepest sleep happens in the first half of the night and from a sleep standpoint, it makes more sense not to disrupt them during this time.
Who should try a dream feed?
The dream feed can be a great sleep tool but it’s not for everyone. Use the following guideline to help you determine if the dream feed makes sense for your baby:
If you head to bed around the same time as your baby, then a dream feed would not make sense for your situation. You never want to have to wake yourself up in order to go offer a dream feed as this completely defeats the purpose. So if your baby has a later bedtime (or maybe you head to bed early to maximize your rest) then waking yourself up to go wake them up just doesn’t make sense. Instead, let them sleep and let yourself sleep.
If you head to bed later than your baby (by 2-3 hours), then a dream feed would make sense for your situation. When you’re ready to head to bed yourself, get dressed, brush teeth, and do any other tasks that you need to before heading over to your baby for the dream feed. By doing it this way, you can really maximize that stretch of sleep that your baby will now give you because of the dream feed.
Does a dream feed actually work?
The answer? It depends. Every baby is different so some babies do really well with a dream feed and others just don’t. Here are some signs to look out for that means your dream feed is working well:
By offering the dream feed, your baby wakes later in the night for their next night waking/feeding
Your baby takes a full feed during their dream feed
Your baby easily falls back asleep (and stays asleep) after the dream feed
Everyone seems to get more rest overnight and less stress with the dream feed
What about signs that the dream feed is not working well? See below:
It doesn’t matter if you offer the dream feed or not, your baby is still waking frequently at night (see this blog for more help with night wakings)
It is hard to get your baby to accept a full feed during their dream feed and they often only take in a small feed
Your baby has a hard time resettling to sleep after their dream feed
Everyone does not feel more rested overnight or less stressed because of the dream feed
It’s okay if you find the dream feed is not actually that helpful- you’re not alone and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything “wrong.” Give the dream feed a try for 4-5 days before deciding if it is working well for your baby. If you decide it’s not working well after that, then just stop offering it. No need to wean it since you are the one that’s been waking your baby for it instead of the other way around.
How do I do a dream feed?
Now that you’ve decided to give the dream feed a try, let’s talk about the logistics of how you offer one. It’s fairly simple but let’s walk through the steps and some other tips that you might not be aware of.
Before you go to bed for the night (10-11pm) pick your sleeping baby up and give them a full feed. Some babies will stir enough when you pick them up that they’ll easily latch and accept the feed without much effort on your part. Other babies may require you to rouse them awake more before they will accept the feed. There is no right or wrong- only what your unique baby is showing you.
Pay attention to how much your baby is eating. We want the dream feed to be a full feed in order to serve its purpose. If your baby only takes a couple of ounces, then that will likely not be enough to help them reach their long stretch of sleep. You may need to more fully wake them. You can do this by unswaddling them and even doing a diaper change before the feed in order to stimulate them enough so they’ll accept a full feeding. This dream feed should be the typical size of feed that they would take during the daytime, whether bottle or breastfed.
Keep stimulation low during the feed. As long as your baby is actively eating, you’ll want to keep the room very dark and only use a small, dim night light if necessary. Avoid noise or talking with your baby during the feed. Keep their sound machine on as usual for sleep and don’t unswaddle them unless necessary (see the benefits of swaddling your newborn here). Unless your baby has pooped or you are trying to get them to wake up enough to take a full feed, you do not need to address a diaper change at this time- remember, they were just sleeping fine until you roused them so don’t worry that a wet diaper is bothering them.
Don’t worry about burping. With the exception of cases of reflux, you typically do not need to burp a baby after a night feeding. Babies take in less air during night feeds because they are less distracted and less active and therefore burping is usually unnecessary. Skipping this step may help them to go back into their sleep space quicker and easier.
Place your baby back in the crib when the feed is over. After the feed, hopefully your baby is asleep or very sleepy. If not, you may decide to rock or hold them just a bit longer until they are asleep or very sleepy. At that point, place them back in their sleep space and then quietly walk away.
Go to sleep yourself! I know how tempting it is to crawl into bed and start scrolling on your phone but avoid this trap. Instead, find a relaxing rhythm for yourself, like deep breathing, to help ease yourself into sleep. If you stay up later scrolling, you’ll negate the benefits of offering a dream feed in the first place.
Final thoughts
There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to dream feeding. Instead it takes careful consideration of your family’s unique sleep situations, needs, and scheduling to decide if the dream feed is worth a try. And even then, you may try it and find it’s not the right fit. That is okay! Just because the dream feed worked well for your sister-in-law or your best friend does not mean that it will also work well for you and your baby.
Looking for more free newborn sleep resources? Download a copy of my Newborn Sleep Guide below:
