Coping with sleep deprivation as a mom: 8 tips for self-care and recovery

Sleep deprivation is one of the toughest challenges moms face- as a mom of 4 kids under 4, I get it! But it doesn’t have to overwhelm you and there are absolutely things you can do to help ease some of the sleep deprivation. By incorporating my 8 go-to tips for sleep deprived moms, you can recover from sleepless nights, stay strong for your baby, and still feel like an actual human being. Keep reading for practical tips to help you cope with sleep deprivation while prioritizing your own well-being.

1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help (and delegate)

One of the biggest struggles for new moms is feeling like they have to do everything themselves. Many moms feel pressure to handle every task—changing diapers, feeding, soothing, and managing household chores—while neglecting their own needs. However, parenting is not a one-person job, and asking for help doesn’t make you less capable. In fact, delegating tasks can help you avoid burnout.

Whether it’s your partner, a family member, or a close friend, don’t hesitate to ask for assistance. Set up a system where certain responsibilities are shared. For instance, alternate nighttime feedings or diaper changes so that each of you gets a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. If a family member or friend offers to help, let them take over tasks like laundry, meal prep, or grocery shopping. By allowing others to step in, you’ll have more time to rest and recover, which is essential for your well-being.

It’s especially important to remember that stay-at-home moms should ask for help at night, too. Just because you don’t go to a traditional job doesn’t mean that taking care of a baby during the day isn’t a full-time responsibility. Parenting is a 24/7 role, and it’s unrealistic to feel like you have to handle all the night wakings yourself. Asking your partner to help at night, even if they work outside the home, ensures you can get the rest you need to be fully present during the day.

2. Try not to swoop in and rescue your partner

It can be difficult to watch your partner struggle with something you’ve already mastered, whether it’s calming a crying baby or managing bedtime routines. However, it’s essential to let them figure things out on their own. This is hugely important for a couple reasons. It helps your partner build confidence in caring for your child which makes them more likely to help and you more likely to ask the next time. It also benefits your baby. When your baby learns to accept help from both parents, they become more comfortable being soothed by either of you rather than always feeling like they need mom to make things right..

By allowing your partner to take over (and giving them and baby time to adjust to being together), you’ll eventually feel more at ease taking a break when you need one, knowing your baby is in good hands. This will take some real effort on your part- especially if you are a type A personality- but it will be so worth the effort that you all put into this task.

3. Turn down the monitor volume (or turn it off completely) 

Baby monitors can be both a blessing and a curse. While they allow you to keep a watchful eye on your child, they can also amplify every little sound, making it difficult to relax. Babies are super noisy when they sleep—grunting, rustling, or even crying out briefly between sleep cycles. These noises don’t always require intervention, but when the monitor is on full blast, it’s easy to jump out of bed and rush to them at every little sound.

Consider turning the volume down or even turning off the monitor altogether if your baby is sleeping safely and doesn’t need continuous monitoring for medical reasons. Trust that you’ll hear your baby when they truly need you, but give yourself the space to sleep more soundly without constantly waking up to small, non-essential noises.

This adjustment can significantly improve your sleep quality, helping you feel more rested in the morning. If completely turning off the monitor feels too anxiety-inducing, start by lowering the volume gradually until you find a comfortable balance. Sometimes moving the baby monitor away from your side of the bed to across the room or on your partner’s bedside table is helpful too. 

4. If you room-share, consider ear plugs

Room-sharing is recommended for the first six to twelve months of your baby’s life, as it can reduce the risk of SIDS and allow for easier night feedings. However, sharing a room also means you’ll hear every little movement, breath, or whimper your baby makes, which can prevent you from getting restful sleep.

If you happen to be room-sharing, earplugs are a must! They might seem counterintuitive, but they can help filter out minor noises while still allowing you to hear your baby when they really need you. Look for earplugs that reduce sound rather than block it completely or simply use 1 earplug to decrease the volume of sounds you hear. This can give you a better night’s sleep by minimizing the constant noise, while still allowing you to wake up when it’s necessary.

5. Avoid using screens before bed 

It’s tempting to unwind at the end of a long day by scrolling through social media, watching TV, or reading articles on your phone. However, the blue light emitted by screens can suppress melatonin, your sleepy hormone which is responsible for regulating sleep. This makes it harder for you to fall asleep quickly and can disrupt the quality of your rest.

Additionally, we’ve all fallen into the trap of mindlessly scrolling through our phones or watching TV before bed, thinking it will help us unwind. But before you know it, it’s later than you meant to stay up and you’ve just lost out on precious sleep time. If you’re on your phone before bed, it can be difficult to stop—so it’s best to avoid it entirely as part of your wind-down routine. 

Instead, try to establish a “screen-free” wind-down routine at least 30 minutes to an hour before bed. Instead of scrolling through your phone, consider reading a book, listening to a podcast, or practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation. Creating a calming pre-sleep ritual can help signal to your body that it’s time to wind down, improving your chances of falling asleep faster and staying asleep longer.

6. Don’t overdo it with coffee

When you’re sleep-deprived, reaching for caffeine feels like the natural solution to get through the day. While that morning coffee can give you a much-needed energy boost, too much caffeine can lead to jitteriness, anxiety, and a disrupted sleep cycle. This can create a vicious cycle—caffeine keeps you awake, but it also makes it harder to fall asleep when you need to rest. Then you wake up even more tired the next day and supplement with more coffee than the day before!

Try to limit your caffeine intake to the morning hours, and avoid consuming it after 12pm. Opt for water, herbal teas, a nutritious snack later in the day to maintain your energy levels and avoid unnecessary stimulation before bedtime.

7. Brain dump before bed

There is truly nothing like being a mom. It can feel like your mind never stops racing—there's always something to worry about, plan for, or remember. And mom brain is a real thing! These racing thoughts often hit hardest when you lie down to try to relax and sleep, making it difficult to switch off and relax. If you find yourself overwhelmed by thoughts at night, keeping a notebook by your bedside can help.

Before you go to sleep, take a few minutes to jot down any lingering concerns, to-do lists, or random thoughts in your notebook. This act of “brain dumping” can free up mental space and reduce anxiety. By writing everything down you give your brain permission to relax. Once your thoughts are on paper, you can rest easier knowing you won't forget anything important and that you can revisit those tasks in the morning.

8. Recognize that seeking support isn’t a sign of weakness

Feeling overwhelmed by sleep deprivation is common, but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer in silence. Whether you’re struggling with your baby’s sleep patterns or your own mental health, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

If you are struggling to navigate motherhood along with all its postpartum hormones or you feel like you can’t enjoy your family because you are just feeling down, consider speaking with a therapist or counselor. They can offer strategies to manage stress, cope with sleep deprivation, and balance the demands of parenting.

If your struggles have more to do with a root cause of sleep deprivation rather than mood or anxiety, then hiring a sleep consultant can help you establish a routine that works for your baby and your family, giving you more predictable rest. I get to help families on a daily basis on their journey towards healthier and more sustainable sleep habits. 

Asking for help when you need it is a powerful form of self-care. It shows that you recognize the importance of your own health and well-being, which ultimately benefits your family as well. You don’t have to do this all alone.

Final Thoughts

Sleep deprivation is tough, but by following these tips, you can start to recover and feel more like yourself again. Whether it’s trading night shifts, turning off your phone before bed, or seeking professional help, there are plenty of ways to manage the exhaustion and get back on track. Remember, this phase won’t last forever, and by prioritizing self-care, you’ll be better equipped to care for your baby.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with your baby’s sleep and would like more personalized support, I’m here to help. Book a free 15 minute consultation call with me, a pediatric sleep consultant, and we can work together to create a tailored sleep plan for your family. Let’s get you and your baby on the path to better sleep!