Breaking the pacifier habit: How to help your child sleep without it
Is it time to say goodbye to the pacifier? While pacifiers can be a lifesaver for soothing your baby, there comes a point when it’s best to let them go. The process of weaning off the pacifier can seem daunting, but with the right approach, it can be a smooth transition for both you and your little one. In this blog, we’ll discuss the signs that it’s time to drop the pacifier, share tips for using it less during the newborn phase, outline steps for helping your baby give up the pacifier, and provide strategies for ditching the pacifier with your toddler. Ready to help your child develop healthier sleep habits? Let’s dive in and make this transition as easy and stress-free as possible!
Signs it’s time to drop the pacifier
This portion of the blog is going to be highly subjective to your unique situation but let me lay out some loose signs so that you can make the best decision for your child.
Your child falls asleep easily with the pacifier but then needs it replaced multiple times per nap or overnight before they will go back to sleep
Your child struggles to fall asleep initially because the pacifier keeps coming out. It is taking several tries to get your baby to fall asleep and stay asleep at bedtime and beginning of naptime
Your child will never fall asleep without the pacifier, meaning the pacifier is the only reliable tool they have for falling asleep
Your child’s pediatrician or dentist has recommended that the pacifier needs to go
Tips to use the pacifier less during the newborn phase
Typically, the pacifier is an amazing tool to use during the newborn stage. I don’t discourage pacifier uses during this time because of your newborn’s innate soothing reflex- which is especially strong right now. It’s also a protective factor when it comes to SIDS risk to offer a pacifier at the start of sleep time.
However, I do talk to families from time to time who are really struggling with the pacifier and their newborn. While the benefits are great, they feel like the struggles are outweighing any possible benefits. If you have a newborn and you are playing the pacifier game all night long and just not able to get any stretch of sleep, it might be time to shift away from the pacifier. Here are some tips for doing so:
Start to incorporate different types of sleep help along with the pacifier. This is often referred to as layering sleep props. So work on layering in a dark room, white noise, holding, butt patting, and the pacifier as your newborn falls asleep.
Once you have several layers to what they are used to in order to fall asleep, then you can try not offering the pacifier for some sleep times. You’ll still be offering all the other sleep props they are used to so it won’t be as frustrating for them.
When you try to stop offering the pacifier, usually the first nap of the day and bedtime are the best places to start. Then you can build from there.
Remember, we aren’t ready to do full sleep training with a newborn but that doesn’t mean we can’t change sleep habits and swap sleep props out. For more help navigating the newborn phase, check out my Newborn Sleep Consultations.
Steps to drop the pacifier with your baby
Once you’re past the newborn stage, removing the pacifier is a bit more straightforward. It’s important to know that most babies aren’t able to find their pacifier in their crib and replace it until they are 8+ months of age. Therefore, if you have a 5 month old who is really struggling with needing their pacifier replaced at all hours of the night, “waiting it out” is probably not your best option.
On the other hand, just because your baby is old enough and developed enough to find and replace their pacifier on their own, that does not mean that you can’t decide to drop the pacifier. In my opinion, once you’re past the newborn stage, the sooner you can remove the pacifier, the better.
Step 1: Figure out what sleep habit you will replace the pacifier with. For many families, they want to replace the pacifier with independent sleep skills by teaching their little one to go into the crib awake and fall asleep on their own. In that case you’ll want to find a sleep training method that you feel comfortable with and apply it. If you don’t plan to sleep train then you’ll want to replace the pacifier use with other sleep props like rocking, holding, or feeding instead.
Step 2: Start at bedtime with removing the pacifier and applying either your sleep training method or your other sleep props. That first night will be challenging, but stay consistent and remind yourself that you are still lovingly responding to your baby- even if you aren’t responding in the way they would most prefer.
Step 3: After you tackle the first night, then start to remove the pacifier from naps. You can take this a bit slower if you’d like but remember that we don’t want to drag this process out too long or your baby will be confused about why they get the pacifier sometimes and not others. In general, I would work to have the pacifier completely gone from all sleep time within 5-7 days if possible.
An important question I often get asked when it comes to baby pacifier use is this: Can my baby still use the pacifier during the day? And the answer is yes! You can continue to use the pacifier for anytime your baby is not in the crib. During awake periods, when you have to do a nap on the go and really need them to sleep, long car rides, etc. The biggest habit we want to build is that when your baby is going to sleep in their crib, you aren’t offering the pacifier.
To learn more about how I can help you personally with this process, schedule a free call here.
Ditching your toddler’s pacifier
Once your baby becomes a toddler or preschooler, it gets a bit trickier to remove the pacifier. By this point, your child likely has years of dependency on the pacifier and is much more emotionally attached. But it is still 100% possible, it just takes persistence on your part. Here are some of the things I suggest when ditching your toddler’s pacifier:
Prep them for the change- With toddlers and preschoolers, we really want to give them time to process the big change that is coming. Give them several days or weeks of preparation before you get rid of the pacifier. In that time, try to gently bring it up each day, “In 10 days we are going to get rid of our pacifiers.”
Don’t be afraid to ask them how they feel about it, or if they are too young for that conversation, you can narrate how they might feel, “I know it will be hard to not have your pacifier anymore. You’re probably feeling sad about that. It’s okay to feel sad.” I also recommend that parents read social stories that talk about a child going through the pacifier removal and watch short videos on YouTube that model this transition.
Make a countdown- Make a quick little countdown that shows how many days until the pacifier goes away. Each morning when they wake up, cross off another day together. When you cross off the last day, talk about how tonight they will fall asleep without using their pacifier. Give them concrete ideas of things they can do to help them fall asleep instead of sucking on a pacifier (squeeze a stuffed animal, snuggle under the covers, rub their face on a lovey, etc.)
Follow through- Now that you’ve done this big lead up to ditching the pacifier, it is very important that you follow through on what you’ve prepared them for. You need to help them understand that you mean what you say and that your words matter. It will be challenging as they adjust, but remember, this is a transition that they must go through and it’s not going to be easier if you pause and try again in a few weeks or months. It’s going to be hard no matter when you do it.
Be consistent- You may have noticed that with newborns and babies I suggest a more gradual approach to tackling the pacifier at naptime. However, with toddlers and preschoolers, I recommend that once we say goodbye to the pacifiers on night one, then they are gone for good. We won’t continue to offer them for naptime and we won’t continue to offer them during awake time either. With this age group, it is much better to have a totally clean break so they can have the consistency they need to be successful with this adjustment.
Final thoughts
Saying goodbye to the pacifier can be a daunting task, but with the right approach, it’s entirely manageable and beneficial for your child’s sleep habits. Recognizing the signs that it’s time to drop the pacifier is the first step. Whether your child relies on it too much or struggles to sleep without it, these indicators will guide you on when to start the weaning process.
Remember, every child is different, and the key is patience and persistence. With these strategies, you’ll help your child develop healthier sleep habits and navigate the transition away from the pacifier with confidence. Celebrate each small victory along the way and trust that your efforts will lead to better sleep for everyone!
