Why is my baby suddenly crying at sleep times?
As a pediatric sleep consultant, one question I frequently hear from parents is “Why is my baby suddenly crying at sleep times?!” It can be so confusing (and exhausting and frustrating) when your little one, who may have been settling well, suddenly starts protesting at naps and bedtime. Oftentimes it will feel like it comes out of nowhere and you’re left grasping at straws to try to figure out what happened.
First off, I want to make sure you know that it’s not a reflection on you. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that you’ve ruined your good sleeper. Please don’t take this sudden increase in crying and protest personally. It is not your fault. Babies go through all kinds of changes and developments and it’s completely normal to have ups and downs. Let’s talk through some common reasons this might be happening and how you can help your baby through it.
Developmental leaps or sleep regressions
Around key milestones, such as learning to roll, crawl, stand, cruise, or walk, your baby’s body is in overdrive! While these moments of growth are exciting, they can also disrupt sleep patterns. This may mean that your baby is especially frustrated that you are taking them away from play time and putting them in their crib or holding them to encourage sleep. You see, as a baby, they can’t understand why they can’t continue to work on their new skills all day and just skip sleep altogether. You’ll likely experience them crying as soon as they realize it’s time for sleep or they’ll happily play and move in their sleep space until they become overtired and then they’ll start crying.
Less physical milestones like babbling, talking, and learning cause and effect have a similar effect. In this case, it’s more their brain that is having trouble winding down and turning off rather than their body. They may also be testing the limits of their voice and cries. Depending on the age, you may feel the cry has turned from a distressed cry to a loud scream or screech. This signifies that your baby is learning all the ways they can use their voice and what it feels and sounds like to be louder and more intentional with those sounds.
Both of these scenarios are normal and also very temporary but I know it can feel never ending when you are going through it. For more age-by-age sleep regression information, keep reading here to learn more.
Separation anxiety
From around 6-8 months (and sometimes even later), babies begin to understand that you exist even when you're not in the room. This new awareness can make separation difficult because they realize that you are not in the room with them when you leave them for naptime and bedtime. This separation anxiety can ebb and flow but typically rears its ugly head again right around the 18 month mark too.
Some key signs that you are experiencing separation anxiety crying at sleep time:
You may notice that your baby is fine during the entire routine, even when you place them in the crib but as soon as you turn to leave they freak out.
If you’ve come back in to check on them, you may have noticed that as soon as you open the door and come near the crib, their crying stops almost immediately.
Maybe you’ve noticed that if your partner (the non-preferred parent) puts your baby down at sleep time, then they don’t have as big of a reaction as when you put them down.
Of course, the above signs aren’t the case for everyone and just because your baby doesn’t act this way it doesn’t mean they aren’t experiencing separation anxiety. Offering lots of reassurance and comforting routines, like a longer cuddle before bed or a special lovey, can ease the transition but it’s also important to understand that allowing your baby to experience separation from you is the best remedy for their anxiety. They need to experience that everything is still okay- even when they aren’t with you 100% of the time. For more tips on overcoming your baby’s separation anxiety, check out my blog here.
Overtiredness or under-tiredness
Sometimes, crying at sleep times can indicate that your little one is either too tired or not tired enough for sleep. Getting that nap and bedtime timing just right can make all the difference but it can be hard to tell for sure which way to adjust their schedule. Let’s go through some tips to help you decide:
Your child is likely overtired if:
They've had a particularly stimulating day
They missed a nap
They took a shorter nap than usual earlier in the day
You recently upped their wake windows
They’ve been waking up unhappy from naps and in the morning
You pushed bedtime until a set time even though their day of sleep was not sufficient
Your child is likely under-tired if:
They’ve spent a lot of time in the car today and missed out on activity time
They took a longer nap than usual earlier in the day
You haven’t adjusted their wake windows in a while
They’ve been waking up happy and rested from short naps or in the morning
They aren’t showing any signs of being tired or ready for sleep
Finding a balanced, age-appropriate schedule is key for little ones. I would encourage you to download my Free Wake Window Chart so you can see how your baby’s schedule lines up and make any necessary changes.
Teething or illness
Teething or mild illnesses (like colds) can cause discomfort and make it harder for your baby to settle. Whether it’s because of a stuffy nose, an annoying cough, or some inflamed gums, these would explain why your baby is struggling to fall asleep suddenly. However, I would also caution you to keep an eye on how they are feeling and acting during awake time too. If they don’t seem in discomfort at all until it’s time for sleep then this might not be the culprit at all.
Offering comfort measures, like a cool teething ring or pain relief as needed, can help. Always check for signs of illness if you notice changes in your baby's sleep and be sure to check out my best tips for supporting sleep during sick season.
Environmental changes
Any changes in the sleep environment or sleep routine can cause a sudden increase in crying at naptime and bedtime. Those changes may be a room change, a bassinet to crib change, a shift in temperature or light in the nursery, or even a tweak to the current naptime and bedtime routine. Sometimes these are “good” changes that will help them sleep better in the long term, but in the short term they have to go through a period of adjustment and usually that means more tears. Don’t let this deter you from making needed changes to your baby’s sleep space or routine though. Instead, think of it as an investment in future sleep quality! Making sure your baby's sleep environment is calm, comfortable, and consistent is one of the foundational pieces of getting good quality sleep.
How you can help your baby through this
I know it can feel so defeating when you’re going through this stage but there are simple things you can do to help your little one as you navigate this sudden increase in crying.
Stick to your sleep routine as much as possible. Babies and toddlers thrive on predictability and consistency and even if it doesn’t seem like it now, it will pay off in the long run.
Offer reassurance and extra comfort as needed, but be mindful not to create new sleep associations. These new associations could make it harder for them to settle independently in the future.
Monitor their sleep schedule to ensure their wake windows are appropriate for their age and make tweaks as needed to help encourage better sleep.
If they are learning new skills, give them plenty of opportunities for practice throughout the day. Avoid having them spend time in containers (high chairs, car seats, swings, bouncy seats) and instead let them free to crawl, roll, pull to stand, and play!
Final Thoughts
Sleep disruptions can be frustrating, but remember that with patience and consistency, your baby will get back on track. Whether you’re dealing with teething, illness, developmental milestones, separation anxiety or needing a schedule tweak, remember, this is only temporary. If you're feeling overwhelmed and need extra guidance, I'd love to help you! Whether it's a quick refresher or a personalized sleep plan, I'm here to support you and your family. Ready to get your baby’s sleep back on track? Book your free discovery call below and let’s find the perfect sleep solution for you!
