Contact naps in the newborn stage
Congratulations on your newborn baby! You’re probably reading this blog because you’ve already been contact napping but you want to make sure you’re not ruining your baby’s sleep habits for the future OR you have been trying not to contact nap and slowly losing steam. No matter your situation with your newborn, this blog is worth a quick read.
I’ll walk you through what you can expect from your newborn’s naps, how to navigate contact naps, and offer you no-judgment solutions so you don’t waste a bunch of time feeling bad about your current sleep situation. As a mom of 4 under 4, trust me, I’ve been here and I want to share all my best tips for navigating these tough newborn days.
What to expect from newborn naps
The biggest, most important, earth-shattering piece of advice when it comes to newborns you need to hear is this: Don’t expect anything from your newborn when it comes to sleep!
Newborn sleep is known for being unpredictable and erratic. It’s that way by design. If you head into those first few weeks and months with expectations of what your newborn’s sleep should look like, you’re going to be disappointed. I often see moms internalize this and feel like they are doing something wrong when in reality, their newborn is just being a newborn. Don’t waste time beating yourself up. Focus on enjoying that newborn baby and grab some helping hands as you navigate the first few months!
Every newborn is different, but here are some quick tips that may help you understand how their naps work:
Most newborns can only manage being awake for about 45-60 minutes total. After that 45-60 minutes is up, then it’s usually time to get them back down for their next sleep. (Yes, this 45-60 minutes includes feeding time)
If your newborn becomes overtired, it will actually make getting them to sleep harder. So if you feel like you are fighting them for naps, try pulling naptime 10-15 minutes earlier and see if it helps!
There is no set number of naps that your newborn needs to take during the day. Don’t worry about trying to have a set schedule or a set number of naps you are aiming for. Instead, just take each day as it comes and use your 45-60 minute wake windows to guide your day.
There is no “ideal” length of napping for a newborn. Some newborns will nap in 30 minute chunks all day long. Others will throw in 2 hour naps here and there. Both are normal and just fine. Try not to compare your newborn’s nap lengths with others.
You can’t spoil a newborn
It’s true. You simply can’t spoil a newborn. If anyone tries to chastise you that you’re spoiling your newborn, it’s probably best to turn and walk the other way. Your newborn just spent the last 9 months in your belly and loves being snuggled close and constantly held. There is nothing wrong with this. This is normal. You’re their safe space as they spend the first few weeks and months slowly adjusting to this big world.
Feel free to hold them for every single one of their naps if that is what works best. Sometimes parents worry that they are starting “bad” habits by doing this but the reality is, it’s only a “bad” habit if it’s not working for everyone. You get to determine if contact napping is working well or not. That’s not a call that anyone outside your immediate family can make for you.
If you reach a point where you feel like contact napping is becoming a problem, then you can always make changes. There is no deadline looming ahead. You may decide that your child needs to stop contact napping at 3 months, or 9 months, or 2 years. Lucky for us humans, we never are too old to learn new habits and the same goes for your child.
The only thing I would caution against is having the same parent do every single contact nap. This is oftentimes the mom and it can cause the baby to struggle if dad tries to help with naps. This then usually leads to mom feeling overwhelmed and like she has to handle all the naps on her own. Try to start early on and have both parents involved in helping with sleep so that your newborn learns and gets used to either parent at naptime.
Constant contact napping isn’t for everyone and different circumstances can make it harder for some families, but don’t ever feel like you need to stop contact napping as long as it’s working for you, for your baby, and for the family as a whole.
You can practice naps in the bassinet/crib whenever you’re ready
As I mentioned above, contact napping throughout the day doesn’t work for every family. Maybe you have twins and can’t feasibly hold them both during the daytime for naps. Maybe you have an older child or two who also needs attention and therefore you can’t devote all your time to contact napping. Maybe mom is recovering from birth and unable to manage contact naps. Whatever the reason, it is valid. And if doing contact naps all day long is not feasible for your situation, that’s okay too!
Whenever you are ready to practice naps in the bassinet or crib, you can give it a try. Like most things, you want to start small and work your way up. If your baby is used to contact napping all the time, then don’t expect to do all crib naps on day 1. Ease into it, nap by nap. Nap 1 is typically the easiest nap for little ones to fall asleep for so start there.
If assisting your newborn to sleep first:
Help your newborn to sleep first as you usually do.
Wait 8-10 minutes to ensure they are fully asleep before you decide to transfer them to their crib or bassinet.
Hold their body close to your body as you lean over their sleep space.
Then slowly lower them down to their side in the crib.
Gently pat or rub their back for a few moments to make sure they have stayed asleep.
Slowly roll them from their side to their back and offer a heavy hand on their chest for a few minutes.
If laying your newborn down awake:
Place your newborn on their back in the crib.
If they become upset, offer soothing like a heavy hand on their chest, shushing, pacifier, etc.
If this soothing doesn’t help, pick them up to calm them again.
If you feel up for trying this cycle again, go for it! If not, then go ahead and assist them to sleep before transferring to the crib.
If your newborn has been napping in their bassinet or crib but then they wake up after a shorter than usual nap, you can pick them up to try helping them extend the nap. Feel free to hold them for the duration of the nap at that time or place them back in the crib- whichever makes the most sense at the moment. Don’t try for more than 10-15 minutes to get them back down. If they haven’t fallen back asleep in that time, it’s best to move on with your day and try again with the next nap.
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing
You can have it both ways and work on crib naps while also continuing to contact nap. A lot of families find a nice balance between one or two crib naps and one or two contact naps. It’s not unusual for crib naps to be shorter (especially at first) so you can plan your day accordingly and alternate contact napping with crib napping. You might find it makes the most sense to do a morning of crib naps and then soak in those newborn snuggles for a contact nap while your older children take their afternoon nap. Whatever rhythm works best for you is just fine. Find that sweet spot!
Safe sleep basics to keep in mind
With newborns, it’s always important to touch on safe sleep practices so we can reduce the risk of SIDS as well as other preventable accidents.
If you are contact napping with your baby, make sure that you are fully awake and aware. You never want to fall asleep with your baby in your arms. If you struggle to stay awake, you may need to find a less comfortable chair to sit in, take turns with a partner, listen to an audio book, or find a favorite TV series to binge.
If you are placing your baby in a bassinet or crib, make sure that their sleep space is bare. There should be no blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, etc. in there with them. You should also always place them on their back for the safest sleep.
Final thoughts
I hope this blog helped to ease your mind about contact napping. I’m in the thick of newborn sleep right now too and I wanted to spread the love and make sure you know that YOU are the best mom for your baby. There is no one right way to do the newborn stage and that includes your approach to sleep. For more help during the newborn stage, download my free Newborn Sleep Guide below:
