Transitioning from nap to quiet time
Is your toddler starting to fight naptime? If they are, it’s possible you are freaking out right now. Naptime is sacred time for moms and the thought of losing that daily time can feel kind of depressing. I get it. As a mom of 3, 3 and under, I want to hold onto naptime as long as I possibly can. Not only is it for my sanity, but it also helps hold off the meltdowns with my toddler too!
So, before you go cry into your pillow, let me walk you through everything you need to know for this transition away from napping. We’ll get into what age you can expect this, when your toddler is actually tricking you about being done with naptime, the real signs to look out for, and how you can drop the nap but still keep a daily rest time (also known as quiet time) for you and your toddler.
When will my child be ready to stop napping?
Most toddlers will stop napping sometime between 3 and 5 years of age. These are just averages though and some kids may truly be done napping as early as 2.5 years (yikes!) while others may need to be forced to stop napping before kindergarten.
I do think it’s very important to warn you about the 2 year old nap strike as well. I work with many families who think their 2 year old is done napping, only for them to start napping again and need it another 1-2 years! This is extremely common so if you are reading this as the parent of a 2 year old, it’s more likely than not just a nap strike and your child is not truly done with their nap forever.
If you do hit a nap strike but you can tell your child isn’t really ready to handle staying awake all day long, then it’s really important to keep offering the nap each day. Even if your child is not actually sleeping during naptime, it’s crucial that you keep the framework in place. Do your naptime routine like usual, tuck your child in, and then enforce that time in their crib or room. It’s ultimately up to you how long you want them to stay in there resting and trying to fall asleep, but I recommend 60 minutes minimum. This way your very smart toddler does not learn that resisting falling asleep = no naptime. These nap strikes can last from 2-4 weeks at times so stay strong!
When it is truly time for your child to be done napping, maintaining a daily quiet time is hugely important for the whole family. It still allows your child some down time to rest- even though they aren’t sleeping, and it allows you some down time as well. More on this quiet time later.
Signs that your child is truly ready to drop a nap:
One of the most common signs that naps may be ending is when naptime starts to become a battle and they are not sleeping or it’s taking them an extended period of time to fall asleep. These changes then start to interfere with bedtime and cause bedtime to become later and later.
Other signs would include things like over time noticing your toddler is napping less and less time. Or maybe they are still napping well but their overnight sleep has slowly been shortening. These signs would indicate that your toddler’s sleep needs are shifting and by keeping the nap in place, their night time sleep is starting to suffer.
While I think it’s important to talk about signs that your child is ready to drop their nap, I think it’s equally important to discuss the signs I see that are big hints your child is NOT ready to drop their nap. These include:
A sudden change in the amount of sleep your toddler is getting. Sleep needs don’t suddenly drop by 1+ hours. It’s typically a gradual progression so if you are noticing huge drops in their sleep needs, there is likely something else at play.
Nap resistance or refusal is connected to a recent illness, recent travel, or other big life changes (think house move, new sibling, potty training or crib to bed transition). Again, if your nap resistance is connected to something like this, it’s a sign that there are other factors at play and dropping the nap will likely just cause more overtiredness and more resistance to sleep.
If naptime has recently gotten harder but bedtime has been a battle for a while. Sometimes, it’s not that your child is resisting sleep, it’s that they are resisting you. Toddlers are masters at testing boundaries and if they’ve discovered boundaries around sleep are unpredictable and dictated by them, of course they are going to turn their nose up at boring sleep when they could be playing!
As you can probably tell, toddler sleep can feel like a big puzzle and it can be challenging to narrow down the actual cause of your sleep woes. My schedule is always open if you’d like to troubleshoot with me and get to the bottom of what your child needs to get back on track with sleep.
What if your child isn’t quite ready to drop their nap… but they’re close?
First things first, we don’t want to give up the nap right away unless absolutely ready. There can be a period of gray here where your child is legitimately struggling with their nap but also clearly not ready to stay awake all day long.
If this sounds like your situation, we are first going to try micromanaging the schedule for a bit to see if it helps things. These are the things I suggest trying first before moving onto more drastic steps:
Cap the nap- This can help if falling asleep at naptime is easy for your toddler but then they don’t seem tired by bedtime. Start by capping it at one hour and see if that makes a difference, If it doesn't try capping it at 45 minutes for a couple of days. The goal with this is to get bedtime back to their normal time and decrease the resistance.
Offer nap earlier- This is another option if falling asleep for naptime is going well but bedtime is the problem area. This won’t work for every child but try moving naptime up to 11:30am. This will give them a bigger window of awake time before bed so they will have more sleep pressure built up without pushing bedtime too late.
Push nap later- Sometimes the months sneak up on you and before you know it you realize you haven’t adjusted your child’s sleep schedule in a long time. If your current issue is not bedtime resistance but simply that your child doesn’t seem tired enough for their nap, then that would mean they need more awake time before their nap to build sleep pressure. Try pushing their nap start time to 1/1:30pm. When you do this, you’ll also need to make sure you wake them by 3pm so that their bedtime doesn’t creep too late.
Give it time- As I mentioned above, nap strikes can be very normal around age 2-3. Keep offering daily naptime, even if your child isn’t falling asleep. Ride it out for a couple of weeks. This could very well be just a phase that will pass. Give it 2-3 weeks before ditching the nap altogether.
Tips for dropping the nap completely
So you’ve determined that your toddler is actually ready to drop their nap. Let’s talk through the logistics of that transition. If the nap is already gone- meaning you’ve tried for several weeks to continue offering daily naptime and they just haven’t napped- then that makes the transition pretty easy! The nap is already gone and you can start implementing a quiet time right away.
If the nap is still hanging around a bit but causing big problems on the days your child does nap, then it’s time to bite the bullet and ditch the nap cold turkey. When you do drop the nap completely, it will take some effort on your part to not let your child fall asleep later in the afternoon/evening. This part will get easier but at first you’ll need to keep an eye on them and make sure they aren’t taking a car snooze or passing out on the couch before dinner.
When the nap is gone, you want to pull bedtime earlier to help your child make up for the lost sleep and prevent them from becoming overtired. A good rule of thumb is to take the average amount of sleep your child used to get between nights and naps and try to offer them a similar amount just overnight. Count backward from their typical wake up time.
For example, if your 4 year old used to get 10.5 hours of overnight sleep and 1 hour of napping, that would be 11.5 hours total. If they start their day at 6:30am, then you would count backwards and aim for 11.5 hours of night sleep for them. This would mean you’d pull bedtime earlier to 7pm.
How to implement a daily quiet time
As you drop the nap, you want to simultaneously replace it with quiet time. The transition to quiet time will be much more seamless if it replaces naptime. So don’t wait to do it once you’ve decided to ditch the daily naptime!
Start by creating a quiet time box. In this box, pack items and toys that are safe for your child to use without your supervision. Depending on your child’s age, this may include books, puzzles, coloring supplies, Duplo blocks, etc. Whatever your child will be excited about and will be able to play with independently will work! Keep this special box tucked away until quiet time so that your child really only gets to play with these specific items at quiet time each day. This helps them to look forward to quiet time more.
Each family is different in how long they want their child’s quiet time to be. Some families are just happy to have 45 minutes. Other families, mine included, have a daily 2 hour quiet time set aside. This is entirely up to you. But you can always start small and work your way up. If 30 minutes feels long at first, then start there and slowly increase the time until you hit your goal. If you have a Hatch or toddler clock that you can set as a visual cue for your child of when quiet time is over, that can be really helpful too. And voila! You’ve successfully transitioned your child from napping to quiet time!
I know it can feel scary to think of your child dropping their nap but you will get through it! With time and consistency, establishing a daily quiet time can be a predictable and routine part of your child’s day. If you need more help navigating the ups and downs of toddler sleep, let’s chat!
